When I applied for the DYCP Grant, I’d planned each of my blog subjects within an inch of their life. This month, I was going to talk a lot about developing voice – which is really important, but it’s not something that’s been on my mind. Today, I’m going to talk to you about something different: Anxiety as a writer.

Recently, it’s occurred to me the answer to the question: how are you? whenever posed to a writer, often results in something fascinating. The answer to the question comes in different forms, but there is something underlying that is always the same. There is an underlying sense of anxiety in many aspects of our line of work. Whether it’s anxiety about readers, starting something new, processing feedback, the horrible waiting, fiscal or the anxiety that comes with being a writer, writers are a very anxious folk.

I wanted to explore that – and how we might remedy it.

I want to begin with an article from The Bookseller that made me reflect a little bit deeper on my journey as a writer – what’s been and what’s left to come. Mira V Shah is a debut author with a forthcoming novel on the way and she, very articulately and honestly, explores lifestyle expectation vs reality for authors. There was one segment of the article in particular that stood out to me:

The reality is this:
5am wake up calls to squeeze in an hour or two of writing/editing before the family wakes up; Working a 50+ hour week day job just so that you can pay your bills, and therefore afford to continue writing; Cancelling social plans; Sacrificing downtime in front of the television, time with the family, sleep; Taking annual leave just to meet your deadlines; Editing on trains, planes, at the hairdressers, on holiday.

MIRA V SHAH, the bookseller

This left me wondering, where the hell can I find time to be creative amongst all this chaos? And how do we dedicate ourselves and time to writing whilst looking after ourselves and our livelihood.

What are the sources of our anxiety? and how can we remedy them?

I put out a post asking writers what gave them anxiety when it came to their careers and boy, did they deliver on the question posed. There was an enormous outpour of worrying that boiled down to a few key takeaways. Let’s take a look:

Financial Anxiety

So many people came back to me about their financial anxiety, which is completely understandable given the (seemingly never ending) cost of living crisis. I think it’s important to remind ourselves that what we earn does not define our self-worth – first and foremost.

And then, to go further into that anxiety – especially during this absolutely wild cost of living crisis – it’s okay to have other ways to make ends meet outside of our writing, so long as we make time for our commitment to writing. So long as we still write.

There’s a great book recommended to me by an amazing writer called Artist in the Office – worth a read for those struggling to find that seemingly impossible balance between life, work and creativity. This is a book that came to me at just the right time and really helped me to see value in my other work outside of writing.

Double Life/Self esteem Anxiety

Another pressure point for anxiety that came back was a sense of imposter syndrome in the writing world and in our day jobs. I think it’s natural to feel like an imposter when you have another job to pay the bills – I certainly do. When I’m at work, I feel like I’m not taking my writing seriously enough, but when I’m ‘Writer’ Lucy, I feel like I’ve lucked my way into the room – negating any actual skill or creativity I’ve worked hard to earn. It’s hard to bounce between writer AND assistant – frequently. One requires less confidence and a can do attitude to put out fires as they pop up around you. The other requires you to be a confident artist. It’s very hard to be committed to both.

To help with this sort of anxiety, I set intentions while I’m at work and while I’m writing. I personally find it best to compartmentalise those two parts of myself (because ultimately they are different).

Waiting Anxiety

Then there’s waiting anxiety. We’re constantly waiting to hear back about applications and proposals. Queries. Submissions. This line of work can feel like an endless waiting room – and you’re just waiting for your name to get called.

I tackle this by reframing how I look at proposals. I put my all into every proposal, but I stop taking it seriously the second the I hit send. I let it go. I give myself something new to focus on instead.

There were endless other kinds of anxieties I got from my mini survey. The will it all be worth it anxiety, Work life balance anxiety, finding time anxiety, creative anxiety, and balancing multiple project anxiety. What I learned while researching this blog is we’re all vulnerable to feeling anxious and afraid in this line of work. None of us are alone in that.

I think what occurred to me was this idea that all of us experience anxiety. And what helps me is having a support network of writers around me who know what I’m experiencing, have gone through it themselves, or are going through it with me. I think the trick to resolving this anxiety or softening it is giving our trust to other people and opening up about our experiences. This is a line of work and a calling that comes with an overwhelming sense of the unknown and uncertainty. It’s okay to share that uncertainty with others.

I think if I were to impart anything else about how you can tackle your anxiety around writing it’s this: write. Be creative at all costs.

To stay committed and creative, check out:

• Chloe Timm’s brilliant (and free) Thursday Night Write-In – a writing retreat held on Zoom!
• and Carmen Marcus’ fantastic and spellbinding creative writing workshops.

Sometimes, it’s okay to admit that it’s hard – even if you feel incredibly lucky and grateful to be a writer. There’s nothing noble about pretending this line of work is a cake walk. It’s okay to be honest if you’re feeling anxious and to be proactive in looking after your wellbeing and mental health.

If you want to know more about my Arts Council journey, please follow me on Twitter and Instagram for blog updates! I’ll be writing a monthly blog about the things I learn on my journey.

I’m exceptionally grateful to Arts Council England, who awarded me a DYCP grant in early ’23. This grant has enabled me to take time to develop my creative practice, my voice and my craft. If you’re interested in applying for a grant, please see the ACE website for more information.